The gospel according to the US Border Patrol

I have partially completed my spring-time reading goals. I wanted to plow through all the gospels over the recent Easter long weekend.... that didn't happen, I only managed to tackle the book of Matthew. It was only because I got caught up in the Promise Keepers at the same time and needed to read their Man of Word book. Man of Word is totally awesome... ontop of promoting the return of strong Christian male leadership in family and society they also included the New Testament with images of modern day atheletes mixed in. It's about time! Everyone knows the New Testament is boring... and I needed that image of Emmitt Smith kicking some football ass to get me through. Whatever the case, it's Emmitt Smith that will lead me to get the day-old instant soup off ontop the NIV and continue on to Luke.

...and when I'm done, I will want to pay big bucks to group hug with strong, powerful, masculine Christian men at some Promise Keepers rally in a stadium in Denver or where ever. Oh how glorious it is to be covered in the spirit of the Lord!

*********The Godless State is attacking strong Christian men*******************

My main man Pastor Steven Anderson got his ass KICKED by US border patrol. And why did he get his ass kicked? Sinful vipers that spit lies from their forked tongues may suggest it was because he wasn't cooperative with American authorities and provoked them with his jerkiness and false sense of entitlement... but those are lies. They attacked him because he preaches the truth and the new Godless American Adminstration has identified him as an enemy.

Open your eyes! They're coming to get you! Even here in Canada, when the stars come together and one of the heathen parties take over.... you'll get your ass kicked too! Think about your next vote, don't vote to get your ass kicked!

FYI - Steven's good Christian wife has a blog. She blogs about how much it rocks to be a Baptist, have a backyard pool where relaxin and baptisms can take place... and how much it rocks to homeschool and raise the kids while being a subject to her husband.

Churchychurch: A Foretold Birth

Sinner friends: A new church has been discovered. It preaches a strong and unwavering message. As strong and unwavering as any Westboro Baptist or Steven Anderson. In a slight change of approach, this e-church does not support misleading causes like suppression of same-sex equality, creationism and pro-choice. This e-church claims that all members have pastoral privilege and therefore can preach to the congregation whatever opinion they desire.

Sinner friends: This church concerns itself with equality, transcends the faithful and faithless and, most importantly, is open to heavy metal.

Sinner friends: Unfortunately this church struggles to exist and to this day does not have a decent website. Do not be discouraged for e-persecution is a sign of a path to salvation. The Lord will surely bless. Join the congregation-in-waiting in the churchychurch facebook group for now.

Sinner friends: Gnash your teeth and consider your leadership role in Churchychurch.

Churchy promo vid: 1/4 - 2/4 - 3/4 - 4/4

Dirty Nixon movies and censorship

The unthinkable happened this week. I should correct myself, the thinkable did happen this week.... it's just sad to be thrust out of denial about the state of affairs in this sinfully consumed (and liberal) world. Heart Mother, yours truly, was asked to keep from proudly proclaiming his extreme right-wing big-box store Christian faith in a public forum. I have been personally affected by religious persecution! I was censored. I can not provide details, other than it's the worst feeling ever. It appears I have to worship my God in a closet. Please pray for me, and pray for those limousine liberals.

On another note: While dredging, on an industrial scale ('cause that's how God wants it), for like minded Big-Box store, right-wing, fried-chicken-eatin', dually drivin' hardcore Christians I found a letter to the local editor from a believer in Winkler Manitoba. I'll post the letter in this blog, because I bet the champagne drinkin liberal editor will pull it from the site. Here goes:


I know this will not be a popular subject with the ‘heathens’ in Winkler and I expect it will even be more upsetting for those in Winkler and surrounding areas who call themselves “Christians”.
First of all I want to address the ‘heathens’. I am very disturbed that you are bringing such ungodly movies into Winkler, such as the ads in the Winkler Times in the last issue, Friday Feb 27.

On page 3, your ad reads:

“Taken” (14A) (Not recommended for children, frightening scenes, violence);
“He’s Just Not That Into You” (PG) (Language may offend, mature theme, not recommended for young children);
“Slumdog Millionaire” (14A) (Disturbing content, not recommended for children)
“Frost/Nixon” (PG) (Coarse language, mature theme)

This is all very sickening!! Winkler is a Christian community, we don’t need this kind of disgusting sinful advertising. We don’t need these kinds of filthy movies in Winkler.
I can fully understand why the ‘heathens’ do bad things or ungodly things because Jesus said to the ‘heathens’, “You are of your father the devil.” So it is easy to understand why the heathens would “obey” their father, the devil, because most “children” usually ‘obey’ their fathers. However, what I find far more disturbing is that the people in Winkler who call themselves “Christians” are flocking to these same wicked movies, the same as the ‘heathens’.

The preachers of Winkler are not “obeying” God, their “Heavenly Father” by refusing to warn their flocks, that going to movies is a horrible sin against our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ who washed us clean with His shed blood and made us “white as snow.” Yes, this is very sad indeed.

Peter Neufeld

Mr. Neufeld should be a role model for us all! His Christianity is clear, bold and decisive. Perhaps one day, in the strength of the Lord, I will grow as strong as Peter and resist my oppressers. As a side - who cares that Frost/Nixon depicts a historic event - History should be forgotten so that we never repeat it!

P.S. The images in this post are the types of images liberals (Heathens) have in their mind at all times.

Even more BLOG: PII

Jesus give me strength, this blogging business is exhausting. Already at blog #4.

So the other week I was talking about Richard Dawkins to a friend that doesn't have Christ in his heart. I think he was pro-Dawkins, I'm not. My concern with Dawkins is he comes off as a fundamentalist, not different than the leaders and (organized) religions he speaks against... and just as much intolerant. Plus, I bet he's just going to piss off the 'other side', empower them and make them grow. Remember Dune? The worms are the spice, the spice are the worms? Well, Dawkins is the Dobson, Dobson IS THE DAWKINS!

And what's with that 'come hither' pose from Dawkins? This must be the first time in history the Christian guy looks cooler than the Godless guy.

So in my most elaborate procrastination scheme yet, I'm building my own e-church and I've been listening to a lot of Dio to help along with the process. Ya Dio's a goof, but have you ever flipped any of his albums upside down? Upside down Dio totally spells Devil and that's the CraZIest thing I've ever seen. Dawkins needs to learn from Dio.

Judging by the comments on my blog, at least two people are reading this thing. Of you two, ever watch TMZ? The trashiest of trashy entertainment news shows? What are your thoughts on a format similar to TMZ, but follows and hounds church leaders? The have all the dirt in the world to dig up, it'll be sensational! And what if it was Dio hounding the pastors?

In this time of recession the desperate will be turning to those that give them (false) hope, only TMZ and Dio can help!

I leave you with the saving power of Hinn!

Back by popular demand: MORE BLOG!

I know there should be things to talk about, like my main man Ted Haggard - previous leader of evangelicals 30 million strong. He was recently going on about how the religious right is too harsh on gays and such... whatever, he's probably all bummed out because he's been shunned due to his desires of meth and male prostitutes. Where was the love before his mighty fall?

Or I could talk about Max Lucado and how he dissed Haggard's wife... saying it was her fault that her husband turned to men. Ya, she wasn't doing her 'job'.

I could talk about this idea I hear about Obama wanting to shut down the Alberta tar sands because of the negative environmental impact on the environment. Sucks to be you Nigeria, our environment is better than yours!!

Instead, I'll post a pic of Merle Haggard (no relation to Ted, just the same last name) getting super-drunk and another of a big ol' sheet metal church (located at the very top of this blog, it's got a big Christ blocking the view).

I have nothing intelligent to post - but I do wonder why Ted Haggard doesn't just admit his gayness and start a gay-friendly mega-church with all the fixin's - like a deep fried chicken stop and car wash like all other normal mega-churches.

I'm thinking of polygamy right now, so here's a pic of Chloe Sevigny

This is BattleBowieBattleBlog by Heart Mother. At this very moment is an idea that hasn't even come close to reaching first trimester therefore can be aborted at a time and place of my own choosing. Welcome.